What are our energy vampires?
Dear friends,
I recently had our solar panels serviced, and Marquis, the man who serviced them, told me to check my house for "energy vampires."
I didn't know exactly what an energy vampire was, so he explained that an energy vampire is a piece of equipment that is secretly draining power, even when it's turned off.
This reminded me of a line from Thich Nhat Hanh’s Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings (the 14th) that says, "we are determined to ... learn ways to preserve and channel our vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of our bodhisattva ideal.”
Thich Nhat Hanh expands upon this in a commentary on the 14th training:
In the religious and medical traditions of Asia, the human person was said to have three sources of energy: sexual, breath, and spirit. Sexual energy is what you spend during sexual intercourse. Breath energy is the kind of energy you spend when you talk too much and breathe too little. Spirit energy is energy that you spend when you worry too much and do not sleep well.
The fourteenth precept urges us to respect our own body and to maintain our energy for the realization of the Way. Not only meditation, but any efforts that are required to change the world require energy. We should take good care of ourselves.
In my own experience, I see that I have energy vampires that line up pretty well with the five hindrances: craving, hatred, self-doubt, procrastination, restless distraction. In addition, I drain my energy by thinking I am responsible for (and in control of) everything -- forgetting that I have the power to plant seeds, but not the power to make them sprout.
One of the places where I lose the most energy is getting caught in a self-judgment and self-doubt ("They didn't like what I shared, I'm not good enough", etc.) This kind of self-doubt is a relatively common energy vampire. We focus on all the things that are wrong with us and we punish ourselves, wasting our energy on self-attack, rather than using it to deepen our practice or care for ourselves and others. We can attack ourselves mentally through rumination or physically by not taking care of our bodies by pushing ourselves too hard day after day.
There are also energy vampires which we may have less control over, such as a job or boss that we don't like, being on the receiving end of racism, sexism, ableism, or other forms of discrimination, or being in relationship with abusive people. These forms of energy loss (in addition to finding ways to leave or mitigate the situation) mean we will want to balance our lives even more toward self-care and self-compassion in order to refill our energy stores.
“When you practice peace and happiness in yourself, with the conscious breathing that you produce in yourself, you begin to work for peace in the world…If you do not give yourself peace, how can you share it with others?”
We may have a deep desire to wake up, truly cherish ourselves, and be of benefit to our beloveds and the world; and we also may have the habit of fixating on thoughts that drain our energy, constantly trying to make ourselves "better" or ruminating on a our past or an imagined perfect future.
Kate Johnson, a dharma teacher and Buddhist Peace Fellowship contributor, writes about these habits, and how they can be encouraged by the dominant culture in order to sell us products that we think will make us feel better about ourselves. In her book on Radical Friendship (excerpt in Lion's Roar) she says:
I’ve forced myself to be silent when I wanted to speak. I’ve scolded myself for being sick or tired, and refused myself the opportunity to ask for help. Basically, I’ve had moments of treating myself like someone I didn’t even like, let alone love. What makes friendship with ourselves so radical is that we dare to do it in a world where the dominant culture would rather we be at war with ourselves.
The first step in unplugging our energy vampires is to notice when they happen. Notice when you are ruminating about or criticizing yourself, when you find yourself exhausted from your inner dialogue, or when you are struggling to get away from others who are draining your energy. Then ask yourself: What one small step can I make that will take back some of my energy? Take a deep breath, walk away from someone dragging you down, or set aside time to deepen your friendship with yourself.
“Let me respectfully remind you, life and death are of supreme importance. Time swiftly passes quickly and opportunity is lost. Let us awaken, awaken… take heed. Do not squander your life.”
Finding and eliminating the energy vampires in our lives can free us to live more aligned with our deepest intentions. And that means we will have more energy to care for ourselves, our beloveds, and the world.
