In early October, I was in planning mode for a one-month retreat at Plum Village to soak up the teachings and energies of the annual Rains Retreat (see last years post on this here), when I started feeling discouraged about the divisiveness in the U.S. and fearful about the upcoming presidential election between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump. Over the weeks leading up to my departure, my heart let me know that I needed to get involved in the election in a more serious way before I left. 

I had not gone door to door since working on my Dad’s county commissioner campaign in 1981. My parents were both political activists and their care for the community and belief in the democratic process gave me the courage to get involved. I knew that my home state of Michigan and in fact my home county, Macomb, was what they call a “battleground” area because it was a county that could decide the election for Michigan and Michigan was one of the states that could decide the election for the whole country. 

Dear friends,

In two weeks, I am heading to Plum Village in France for a month-long meditation retreat. I know I have a lot of privilege to be able to take a month to practice deeply with my community. For that, I am very grateful.

Recently, a friend of mine reached out to see if I could help her with a direct action for social justice, taking place during the time of my retreat. She made a very compelling argument about these unique times that we are in and how important it is to do what we can to end genocide and destruction.

Dear Friends,

This week I would like to share some tips for using mindfulness to help you if you’re having difficulty with your sleep. I’ve also shared some of this in a recent video. Many people have told me about their difficulties sleeping, and I have also had periods of time when sleep was more elusive as well.

I think of the challenges of sleep in four main categories: 

1. Can’t sleep because I’m ruminating on past situations, conversations or actions

2. Can’t sleep because I’m dreading something happening the next day or in the future

3. Can’t sleep because my system is revved up and I can’t settle down

4. Can’t sleep because of medications or hormonal changes or pain

For the first two situations, I use my mindfulness practice to notice what thoughts are plaguing me the most. If it’s something that happened in the past, I ask myself the question: Can I do anything about this right now? If there is something small I can do, maybe send an apology email or make a note about something I want to do the next day, I do that.

Dear friends,

Over the years, I have sometimes found myself believing that I need a particular person or thing to make myself feel whole. This feeling is best captured by the expression (coined by Renee Zellweger’s to Tom Cruise in the film Jerry McGuire): “You complete me.”  

As I’ve started learning about attachment theory, I see how this feeling stems from the anxiety of being cut off from the truth of my innate wholeness and connection to the cosmos. Understanding all the ways that human beings try to cope with our existential fears of separation helps me better understand and accept my own anxious thinking, which allows more space for transformation. (Some interesting videos on attachment and relationships here.)

During a meditation recently, I was following my inhale in my exhale. Many upsetting thoughts were swirling in my head, mostly worries and fears about the current political situation and warming temperatures, sadness about my beloved estranged child, fear about potential cancer recurrence, and other random scary thoughts. 

The basic practice of samatha (stopping) is learning to come back to the breath and the body, noticing when our minds get spinning and finding our way back over and over again to this moment. Thich Nhat Hanh’s poem Froglessness describes this practice beautifully:

Dear Friends,

A big part of my mindfulness practice is taking care of my strong emotions. This practice, which I learned from Thich Nhat Hanh, has been integral to healing a lot of my internal and external (usually interrelated) struggles. Thich Nhat Hanh’s basic teaching on strong emotions is that we embrace them with our mindfulness, the kind of mindfulness that is filled with friendliness, compassion, joy, and is welcoming of all. 

I have found that personal growth always begins with this process of welcoming bodily sensations, feelings and habitual thought patterns. When I’m able to practice with what arises, eventually there is much less grappling and much more ease and joy. 

Dear Friends,

This past Sunday several local meditation communities came together for a silent sign-free meditative Peace Walk. The temperature here in DC was near 100 degrees as we walked along the National Mall to the U.S. Capitol grounds. Several medics were with us and helped to keep us all safe and well.

We manifested this walk to express our desire for peace throughout the world and to call on world leaders to step up to peacemaking for the benefit of all. Our intention was to show that we can act with peace, for peace. To show ourselves and whoever else showed up that there are small acts that can be done with great love. 

Dear Friends,

I have been practicing with a situation that arose in 2022, when an old and dear friend of mine acted in a way that contributed to serious harm to my family. Since that moment, I have been trying my best to both respect the pain that I feel and not make her an enemy in my heart or mind. And this has been extremely challenging. 

One of my favorite songs/poems of Thich Nhat Hanh is called Alone Again, and the lyrics are (emphasis mine):

alone again I’ll go on
with bent head, but knowing
the immortality of love
and on the long rough road
both sun and moon will shine

Dear Friends,

I hope you are well. 

Foremost in my mind and heart lately has been the question of how to support peace in our world so full of war. Thich Nhat Hanh was a strong proponent for peace during the Vietnam war and throughout his life. His message, as I understood it, was to work on creating peace in ourselves alongside the creation of the conditions needed for peace in the world. Both are necessary and they are interrelated.

Dear Friends,

I hope you are enjoying life wherever you are today.

I wanted to share about a practice I am working with these days. It’s something I have heard Sister Peace talk about in the past, and again in a recent talk given at the BIPOC retreat at Deer Park Monastery.

This practice she calls Eye Hugging.

I think you can imagine what this means, but here is how Sister Peace describes it:

I call it the practice of Eye Hugging. And I look in your eye and I smile and you smile and you look in the eye of maybe someone next to you and you smile and you embrace.