Dear Friends,

Sometimes I want to show up in a loving way, but I just don’t feel I have the energy for loving anyone or anything. I might want to extend myself and really reflect the love I have in my heart, but instead I collapse or show up cranky. 

Someone in our mindfulness group shared something about this recently that I have been reflecting on.

We were talking about Boundless Love –  the kind of love that we can feel when we are still and quiet. When we touch the insight of interbeing, recognizing that each and every part of the cosmos belongs here. It’s the love that can fill us up and then overflow to others. 

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Dear Friends,

I’ve self identified as codependent since I learned what the word meant (unhealthy attachment to another person/s). I recently had a chance to experience this habit energy in a funny way that led me to a bit more understanding. 

While I was at the Cirque du Soleil, I found myself unable to enjoy the show because somewhere deep inside I believed I was responsible for keeping the performers safe. I’m not kidding. Given the amount of talent, professionalism and training of the performers and my little seat in the 35th row, that was clearly a delusional belief. 

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Dear friends,

Even in the best of times, it can be challenging to get out of bed and remember to practice mindfulness. When I remember to start my day with some mindful action, such as a few mindful breaths or steps, my day may not be perfect, but it does lean toward more ease and joy. 

Practicing mindfulness in the morning can still include other more typical activities like enjoying a cup of our favorite coffee drink (or my new favorite Oolong tea.) And it doesn’t mean we have to be all perky and bubbly. (I surely am not.) 

I read somewhere that we can think of each day as a room that no one has ever gone into before. The day can be an exploration that is experienced in this particular way only by us and only this once. Mindfulness helps me hold onto this openhearted and attentive mindset throughout the day.

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Dear Friends,

Anger is an interesting topic to reflect on. It’s something that arises naturally in us in response to seeing or feeling pain. It may arise when we want to protect something precious, such as ourselves or innocent people. There are ways to practice cooling the dangerous flames of anger, without suppressing it entirely, that can leave us with valuable embers of energy pointing us toward greater love.

Both the Buddha and Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) taught about anger and how to work with it. In an interview with the author bell hooks, Thay said:

“To be angry, that is very human. And to learn how to smile at your anger and make peace with your anger is very nice. That is the whole thing—the meaning of the practice, of the learning. By taking a look at your anger it can be transformed into the kind of energy that you need—understanding and compassion.”

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Dear Friends,

Our minds and hearts are exposed to so much suffering in these times. We see children being killed by bombs, young adults having mental health crises, and carjacking and cancer all over the TV and internet.

Our brains are wired for empathy, which is wonderful. Because we can feel the suffering of others, we have a better sense of how to act in order to reduce their pain. 

I’m not sure our brains were designed to receive the amount of suffering we receive each day. So many of us feel overwhelmed by all we see and hear. Our mirror neurons reflect the suffering we see out there and create suffering within us. 

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Dear Friends,

In my last email I wrote about our habits and how we can begin to shift them.

This week I want to share about a very specific habit that I recently transformed (at least for the time being) and how it offers me the inner silence and stillness needed to develop deep awareness and touch joy.

Before I went on my 6-week retreat to Plum Village in October, I had a pretty strong habit of listening to podcasts anytime I wasn’t listening to anything else. For example, when I walked the dogs, when I showered, when I drove, etc.

After my time at the monastery (where I did not listen to any podcasts or watch any television) I realized how much space those podcasts were taking up in my head and thus how many minutes and hours I missed being present for what I was doing. Even though the shows were supportive in nature – they were mostly Buddhist or self-help related – they took away the time and attention that my mind needed to settle and deeply experience my life.

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Dear friends,

This time of year we often create “New Year's Resolutions” in order to fix behaviors or areas of our lives we feel aren’t “right.”

I’d like you to consider a different way of looking at the habits that you no longer enjoy.

Start by getting to know one habit and why it is the way it is. What good feeling is this particular habit trying to offer you (even when it misses the mark)? If it weren’t offering you something, you would not be doing it. For example, you might find yourself scrolling social media more often than you like. Looking deeply, you may find that scrolling provides you with a feeling of relaxation, at least at first.

Being gentler with your habit energies (the energies that push you to continue a habit) and offering them more space to express what they need, can already begin to create a shift. We rarely win a direct tug-of-war with our habits (a fact you probably already know).

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Dear Friends,

I am just back from six wonderful weeks on retreat at Plum Village. Our days were book-ended with meditation daily at 5:30AM and 8:00PM. In between we did lots of working meditation, dharma talks, dharma sharing, and outdoor walking meditations.

One of the biggest differences between life here in Washington DC and life at Plum Village is the pace at which we move. One of the basic practices taught by Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) and one at the heart of Plum Village life is slowing down. In this upcoming holiday season, we may be pushed to move very fast, but I believe we can find ways to resist the rushing and live with more ease.

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Dear Friends,

I had the great good fortune of attending a talk given by the author and Self-love/Body-love movement activist, Sonya Renee Taylor. The talk took place Sunday in the space shared by Opening Heart Mindfulness and Circle Yoga. 

I experienced Sonya’s offering as deep, wise, funny, and to the point. One of the current practices she has is to look at everything she encounters as “life asking to be reconciled with love.” She shared her belief that everything is love asking for love. This is not simply a concept to be intellectualized, but a practice to consider in each moment. If this is true, what action can I take to bring me closer to this love?

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