Relaxing our minds before bed
Dear Friends,
This week I would like to share some tips for using mindfulness to help you if you’re having difficulty with your sleep. I’ve also shared some of this in a recent video. Many people have told me about their difficulties sleeping, and I have also had periods of time when sleep was more elusive as well.
I think of the challenges of sleep in four main categories:
Can’t sleep because I’m ruminating on past situations, conversations or actions
Can’t sleep because I’m dreading something happening the next day or in the future
Can’t sleep because my system is revved up and I can’t settle down
Can’t sleep because of medications or hormonal changes or pain
For the first two situations, I use my mindfulness practice to notice what thoughts are plaguing me the most. If it’s something that happened in the past, I ask myself the question: Can I do anything about this right now? If there is something small I can do, maybe send an apology email or make a note about something I want to do the next day, I do that. If there isn’t really anything that can be done, I remind myself of that, and I do my best to let it go. If there is nothing that can be done, there is no benefit to thinking about it anymore. Often that gentle reminder is enough to help me get to sleep.
If I’m dreading facing the next day or something in the future, I will remind myself that the only thing I have any control over is myself and how I show up. I can only do what I can do, and when I get to the challenging moment, I will simply do my best. One of the ancient keys to happiness and ease is letting go of outcome. You can find this wisdom in the ancient Indian text the Bhagavad Gita, and in the more modern 12-step Serenity Prayer. If I remind myself of this wisdom and remember all the times that I have survived difficult or unpleasant things, I can usually fall back asleep easily.
For the last two situations, I practice mindfulness of the body. This can be as simple as following my breath: Inhaling slowly and exhaling slowly with full attention on the entire breath. Or it can include noticing each part of my body from my toes up to my head and back down to my toes. Sometimes I add gratitude for each part as I name it silently in my mind. “Thank you dear feet for always taking me where I need to go. Thank you knees for not hurting when I dance.” And so on. Another practice is to try to notice if I fall asleep on an inhale or an exhale. These practices keep my mind focused on my body in the here and now, helping me release tension and allowing my nervous system to relax.
Sometimes there are medical concerns and hormonal situations that may not respond completely to these mindfulness suggestions. In those rare cases, what I’ve suggested is still worth trying and may support the body’s ease and rest, even if you end up lying awake for hours.
I hope these practices are helpful to you. I’d love to hear if you practice them and what you discover. Everything in life is an experiment, so please consider my offerings in that spirit.
with love,
annie.