Grandmotherly Equanimity

When we are able to ride the ups and downs of life, it gives us the spaciousness to help others also ride the waves. I am not a surfer, but I know that if I were trying to learn to surf, I would benefit most from an instructor who has had enough practice to stay up on her board. 

In the same way, our regular mindfulness practice can help us serve the world because we won’t need to spend as much of  our attention focused on balancing on our own board. Equanimity allows us to trust the world and its inevitable waves and manifests as more energy to listen to someone else’s suffering and the ability to pause before reacting to other’s words and actions.

Practicing meditation regularly can generate this kind of balanced equanimity.  As Kaira Jewel Lingo writes in her book, We Were Made for These Times: 10 Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption:

“We can see equanimity as similar to grandmotherly love, which is more peaceful than the love of a parent because it’s not as attached. The love is there, but without as much of the  suffering. Equanimity helps us to take a loner, bigger view. Each person has their own journey, their own path to walk; we don’t always see the logic of their trajectory.”

Some ways to develop the practice of equanimity include the practice of following the breath, letting go of our thoughts as they arise, and considering what the Buddha named the Eight Worldly Winds (learn more on this podcast). The Eight Worldly Winds are like the waves we are bound to encounter in life. The less we attach to them, the more freedom we have.

“Monks, these eight worldly conditions spin after the world, and the world spins after these eight worldly conditions. Which eight? Gain, loss, status, disgrace, censure, praise, pleasure, & pain. These are the eight worldly conditions that spin after the world, and the world spins after these eight worldly conditions.” – Lokavipatti Sutta: The Failings of the World,” translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Practicing this way we can liberate ourselves from suffering and become true Bodhisattvas who help heal our loved ones and the world.